It is gonna be alright
by CrimsonSkeleton
Summary: This story is based on my weird/sad dream. Wanted to like to say thanks to marylouleach for edited my English grammar! Warning: This will causes you emotional and think of your family's death. Just a thought to give you a bit warning before read this. This is my very first fanfic. Enjoy!


Everything seems clear, the flowing sounds of laughter, chatting, and the screaming for joy. Feeling like blowing bubbles flew up on the clear blue sky, the little ones running around, rolling over on the warm hard ground and you try to catch them for 'your in' game.

Everything seems alright, your eyes looking around to see people, you could see their smiles, everything seems alright, no one can hurt you anymore, and everything seems alright. Knowing this will be alright, seeing down on the ground, the green cotton blanket filled with wonderful food and drink. It looks delicious, you take some food, into your mouth. Feeling refreshed and knowing everything's alright. No one shouting or yelling. No one shows the violence. Everything seems peaceful.

Someone looks at you, smiles at you, with the bright white teeth. Knowing it's gonna be alright. Someone hands you the water bottle, you took it. Opening it, held it with the right hand, the left hand will carry the bottle, drink it slowly, and let the cold flush water into your throat. Everything seems alright.

Looking back at the someone again, trying to figure who it is. The sun backdrops making it too blurry it's all so unclear. Someone smiles again. You don't hear, you're reading their lips; _'It's gonna be alright_.'.

Will it? Would it be alright? Who are you?

You reach a hand out. A smile and lipread. It is so bearable to read it. What are they saying? It repeats over five times, and they're trying to call you something. Something that it is so unexpected that it seems to know you.

 _"Sherlock."_

Wait? Do they call me? Is that my name? Why would they call me? What's going on here?

They smile at me and say _'Sherlock. Why did you do that to me?'_

Huh? Eh? I haven't done anything wrong. Am I?

Looking around the people watching , frowning. Their faces look down, refusing to hand you anymore food and drink. Slowly, they disappeared, fading away like smoke.I try to reach a hand to them, but it was too late. They are gone. Everyone's gone. Molly, Mycroft, everyone is gone.

Expect this one. This one who was smiling at you,and now showing sadness. You immediately recognize this person.

"John."

He is the one who I truly miss, so much so it hurts to see him suffering. Starting to losing him. I smile at him sadly, touch him for the first time ever in my life, and knowing it is not real. Everything's seems a dream. Everything's seems alright.

I wish to stay with him forever, never let him go, hold him forever and I want him to say it over again, again in your head and says _"It's gonna be alright, you will sleep like a baby tonight. You're safe with me."_ This is what I wish to hear again.I want to hear his voice again.I missed his voice, his soft, warming, kind voice into my ears make me feel safe. I missed his warmth tension towards to my body, cuddled gently and told it's gonna be alright.

You look up at him, your eyes fills with the water, pour them out of it, sliding against your cheeks, lets a sob and squeak, "John." you called. "John. Please." Heavy sobs echo against the air around you.

Suddenly you look up at him, feeling the lose of him, he's all gone. He's no more. The voice of his is changing. No, that's not him. Where's John? John? Where are you? Please don't leave me.

"John?"

The voice replied "There's no John, Sherlock. He died in 5 years ago, including your dog, thank god he's gone."

You pushed him away, sobbing as fast as you possible, unwilling to hold it back, you walked past him, in few seconds, you stopped and looked back at him again. "He's family!" You yelled at him, your voice in between sobs and dry cracks. Yes, my dog was my family, but John is more than just a family.

The man just shrugged and walked away, to the door.

Sometimes you suddenly realize, everything's gone. No one is gonna be alright.

You look around, everything's darker and on the other side is the lighter, but it slowly changing into the darkness. You try to figure it out for the reason why it is become a darkness. You look back at the man again, soon as you realize, he opens the door.

You ran after him yelling "Wait!" Slowly in the motion, you reach your hand to stop this man, but it was too late, the door has been locked. You push your body against the door and bang on it. "No! Don't leave me! I'm all alone! Please, Mycroft!"

Yes, the man was my brother, but he's also gone. Everyone I love is all gone. I'm left alone. Who's gonna be on my side? Who's gonna to help me with the case? Who's gonna teach me manners? Who's gonna to set me onto the right path? Who's gonna to heal my broken heart? Who's gonna to tell me what to do? Who's gonna shout at me and help me realize? Who...Who...Who's...

You cannot help yourself, this bursts out of you, this whining and crying. Kneeling down on the hard pitch black floor. No one is going to help you. No one support you for this emotion. No one gonna be on your side. No one holds the hand out at you and say it's gonna be alright.

No, it's not gonna be alright. Everyone I love is gone, everything's my fault. I cannot change my past. I cannot change it. It was too late. I was happy back then, with John, my precious best friend, and a wonderful doctor, and an amazing partner. He's the one who helped me get on with my life. Say go for it. Don't let people say something bad about you. Ignore their small brains, and speaking abuse against of you.

I try, John, I so try it, but it hurts, it hurts so much. I missed you so much. I missed your smile. I missed your comfort words. I missed your caring for me. I missed your making cup of tea for me. I missed your working with me. I missed everything you have done for me.

But most importantly I missed your smile. It brighten up my darkest and boring day. Whenever I get sad or depressed, your smile changed my negative feeling into a positive feeling.

John...please. I cannot do this anymore. Help me. Say to me again it's gonna be alright.

Please...

On this early morning, the seagulls cried out as the clock alarm, the groaning escaped his mouth, rubbed his sleepy eyes to the messy hair that holds it, slowly opening his eyes they widen.

 _Is this dream? Though it looks real. Oh, how I wish it would be real._

Looking at the side of the bed, knowing he's not there anymore. He bursts the sobbing against the tired eyes, whining, he placed his one hand on his temple while the other hand placed on his chest, holds his heart so tight. So hurts to thinking of him, everyday.

 _5 years seems so long, so much hurting to thinking of him everyday, even though I already know that he's not here anymore, but it felt so real if it were the dream. I always cry for him. I always call for him when I was in the cases, but realizing he's not here to support on my side anymore. How can I manage without his support? I try my best to be strong, as John encouraged me when he was away for the Army. I remember the letters he wrote for me due of his Army days and say how much he missed me and always asked me if I were alright without him. I honestly poured my heart to him to say I totally missed him, it would be so boring without him. He knew that. He knew that I always get bored when he's not around, so he was trying to encourage me to be strong whatever I would cry or whine without the comfort, he tried to lift my sadness up into happiness, so one day he will returns home and gives me all what I want. Yes, his smile, his comfort words, his cuddle, his smell of his shampoo hair. That's what I wanted to get from him. But...nothing happend. He's gone. He died in the Army. It was only 3 months he was in the Army, he was supposed be returns on the following month, however...in the between of these months, he lost his life to save one another. How so kind and care was he for the all people there. I so missed his kindness and caring..._

Standing up, still in crying, walking up to the shelf, took some letters from John and suffered the letters and found one letter that Sherlock love to read it everyday to help him strengths. He smiles and read aloud;

 _Dearest Sherlock,_

 _I am writing this letter to say I missed you. God, I really do. It's been 3 months now. But guess what, Sherlock? On the following next month, I'm coming home. Can't wait to see me? I bet you do. Sherlock, you know everyday I am thinking of you, right? You know, I am wondering about through the 3 months, to see what you been up to. Does DI given you any cold cases, to keep you up with your boring life? Sherlock, I do really want to come home and say to you it's gonna be alright. I know it's hard because I know you feel different without me there. I know you refused me to go to into Army but they needed me here, you know that, don't you, Sherlock? And...I, oh yeah, Sherlock, god, every time I have heard people say that they missed their friends and families it made me think of you. Every single day. My mind drives me crazy because it would not let me to delete your beautiful figure in my dreams. Your compliments always make me smile, because you always do that. You wanted me to adjust your cold way of speaking to people. That reminds me, did you control yourself with the bad attitudes towards people you met on cases? I really hope you've tried the best you can. I really appreciate if you do. Sherlock, please hang on there, on the next month, I am coming home, ok? Just wait for me and I promise you, Sherlock, it's gonna be alright. Please stay strong for me, whatever it's gonna be happens, please stay strong. Please, it's all for me, ok? I stays strong because of you. Remember that, I love you. Alway. Never forget that._

 _Love you a lot, Sherlock, and please take care yourself._

 _Do not forget to feed yourself with the good food. You need it. If I see you with no food, I would not give you what you want. I am serious, don't you dare smirk at this, because I know you always do that, haha. Anyway, I will see you on the next month._

 _Your wonderful doctor and best friend and you're only one good partner in your life,_

 _Doctor John Watson._

Sherlock folded this letter, eyes closed to try to stop adding more tears coming out, but knowing read this could hurts his heart because John asked him just one thing, one thing that he could ever asked for: Stay strong. He's trying to be strong, for John. He nodded at it, half smiled. Wiping the tears away, nearly jumped as his mobile phone beeped. Look like he got the message. Grabbed the phone and checked on the message, it was from DI.

It reads say: 'Hi Sherlock. Hope you are well. Thought I have a case for you? I know it's difficult for you to handle this without...you know? Please Sherlock, I want you to come out, the case might be interesting to you. It's about car crash, two people died, but one alive. Please text back. Thanks. -GL'

Sherlock has thought about this. Yes, John want him to get out of this low and depressing flat, it's all quiet, Mrs Hudson still alive, but she's not well at the moment, she's getting old. Sherlock has noticed that, but to her surprise Sherlock has a heart, he helped her a lot. Providing the food for her, giving her the pills, giving her the best warm clothing. Mrs Hudson soon realized Sherlock must be missed John. Without John, Sherlock was in the bad shape, but Sherlock tried to fight it and followed John's steps, shown kindness and caring to people. He ignored his brother to say that caring is not an advantage. Caring is good for him. He felt good when he cared for people. It's all true that John said care to people could help people to change their life and copy Sherlock's kindness and caring. It did happen. DI also shows support and kind to Sherlock. Sometimes Sherlock can be jealous when he sees DI with his wife, but he respected that, and tried to control his hatred towards DI's children, and shows kind to them.

So Sherlock quickly replied to DI: 'I accepted this case. Address please.' with a smile and walked off to the outside of the Baker Street and called for the cab and jumped into it, shortly after he sat down he received a message from DI with the address. He smiled at it and texted back with the thank you, and looked out at the window, looking at the buildings in London.

Yes, Sherlock tries harder to be strong for John. Through his life, he's fighting for his bad depression, it's all because of John asked him with just only two words: 'Be strong'. These words would stays in his mind place and his heart, forever.

 _It is gonna be alright._


End file.
